Palin charges Alaska $21,012.00 for kids' travel

Now that's a maverick! She's just gonna go after reform like a hungry Eskimo on a seal hunt. And when she's not busy thinking like a maverick, she's hanging out with Bristol down ta NYC at the Essex hotel overlooking Central Park, dontcha know?! 

Go Caribou Barbie!

Photo Op 1.1.0

You know when you're traveling and you get to your hotel room and do that initial inspection before you get completely settled in and unpacked? You visually scan the room, the bathroom, closet, shower and other nooks for personal items or bodily fluids left behind by the previous traveler. 

Oh, you don't do that? 

Well, you should. 

Our traveling partner found these soiled, adult underwear stuffed in an extra blanket in the closet. In freaking' Disneyland, of all places. I would expect this in Vegas or something but Disneyland?

Teacher's Shopping Weekend

Oh, I forgot to mention this earlier...I drove the kids to school this morning and dropped them off but about an hour later, they had walked back home. Kristof immediately dropped off his backpack and said he was going outside to play. Sofie mumbled something about not having to go to school for a few days because it's, "UEA Weekend." I checked the kids' school schedule and indeed, the kids are on break. The district calls it "Fall Recess". I call it 'prison'. 

Whatsherface's blog

I don't routinely read Dooce but I do catch up with it on occasion. I will not link this totally brilliant blog of ours to her 'whoop-de-doo' blog because, frankly, I'm jealous that this woman makes a living blogging. About what? Life. Nothing else. Just life. O.k., but this entry is freakin' funny. Who else can write this great shizzle, "...I'm just making fun of the Mormon that I was, the ignorant, intolerant, pig-headed adolescent who needed a big one up her pooper"? 

It's not that I have anything against Sarah Palin...

O.k., that's just not true. If I had to choose between cholera and Sarah Palin, I would choose cholera. If someone offered me a yellow/brown (wood grain) 1977 Ford Pacer Wagon, with a broken 8-track player, no cup holder and manual shift, or an all-inclusive trip to Cancun with Sarah Palin, I would proudly sport about town in my new (old) compact automobile. Offer me a fresh, bloody band-aid or a pair of Sarah Palin's soiled underwear, I would lick that bloody band-aid like an anemic tic. 

Props to an illustrator named Victor Juhasz.  To see the full article at Rollingstone.com, entitled, "Mad Dog Palin", click here. 

The Lawrence Welk Show

I am addicted to this little SNL clip, mainly the Kristin Wiig character Judy, Denise or whatever her name really is. "Is that bad? Dooo doooo doooo dooo..."  (to watch the video, click on this post's title and bear with the brief commercial).

Thank you for sharing my sick humor.

VOTE!

cake baker and I have been discussing the importance of voting with our imaginary children and our real dog, JD, all week. While it was nearly impossible to get Sophie to drop the razor blade and leave her room; she finally relented when cake baker whipped up some lovely peanut butter brownies! 

Kristof is wildly interested in the election process! His teacher reports that his Sarah Palin impressions are spot on and fabulous entertainment for those times when she doesn't feel like teaching. We are so proud of Kristof and his second grade achievements!

Sophie is now on her 3rd psychiatrist. This new guy has her on a colorful (literally) assortment of medications and told us to tell her that they are "candy coated" so she will swallow them. I think she is on something like Ability or Abilify,  Xanax, Ativan, Sonata, Lunar - something or other, Prozac, Cymbalta, and Thalidomide. I think that's it; but who knows??? I read somewhere on the interweb that many teen age girls cut themselves. Granted, she is only 9 - but she has always met important milestones very early. Smart kid, our Sophie!

Time to take JD out and wake Kristof up so he can do his paper route! We are blessed to have such lovely hardworking imaginary children and a real dog!

Oh! Kristof, we discovered, needs to have his forehead lowered. Apparently his forehead is abnormally high. We may wait until after he and Sophie are done with their head to mouth gear - but who knows? At this point, we could use the kid's forehead as a bulletin board! 

TTFN! 

Straight shooter

Over the weekend, Sasha and I went to visit a friend who recently had a family member pass away. We took Kristof with us but Sofie did not want to leave her bedroom. So, off we went to Judy's house. While she was talking about her loss and her sadness, Judy began crying. Kristof, in all his childlike glory, said to Judy, "Are you crying because you're ugly?"

Holy F--k balls!  I practically shat my pants as I tried to hold back immediate laughter. Fortunately, the moment caused Judy to burst out laughing.