Hey Governments!

I have an idea to reduce global economic problems. Each government should print more money and give it to the people. If people have more money, they will buy things (aiding retailers) and/or pay down debt (aiding banks/credit card companies). I know what you're thinking....if more money is printed, the value of the dollar goes down. That is why I'm suggesting that all governments (except perhaps in communist nations) print more money, say, 10% more money than is currently in circulation. Then, it really doesn't matter that the dollar goes down because the value of each country's monetary unit will have gone down equally. Then, once all the money gets redistributed back into the hands of the wealthy, do the same thing again (o.k. that's the part where I'm joking).

Yes, it's that simple. Don't try and make it all complicated and listen to Nobel prize winning economists, or go all 'Economics 101' on me. It could work. What have we to lose?

Celebrity Kids with unfortunate aesthetic inheritances, Pt. 1

Rumer Willis

Mom's forehead, eyes, nose

Dad's chin

Before you get all up in my business about it not being her 'fault' and the poor thing can't change the shape and size of her face, there is such a thing as 'chin shaving'. Any plastic surgeon could remove some of that excess Bruce chin and the problem would be gone forever. She has already blamed her father for her chin, which she, too, has noticed creates an unfortunate Mrs. Potato Head look. 

Lourdes' eyebrows (or singular, 'eyebrow'?)

Madonna, it's one thing to cherish your Italian heritage but even at her young age, a little plucking or a professional eyebrow waxing might help your daughter's areer as a young actress. (Madonna announced just days ago that Lourdes is 'desperate' to become an actress and has joined Mahaattan's Professional Children's School).  

Dear NASA,

Sometimes I wonder why you haven't sent any American astronauts to the moon 'again'. Maybe you learned enough about the moon's surface and all the lunar rocks and particulates you brought back the 'first time'?  Or, perhaps you're experiencing some budget constraints? It could be that you're depressed and no longer find interest in the aspects of lunar travel that once gave you so much joy.

I anxiously await your reply to my query.

Respectfully,

Baker, Cake

Wanna play a game?

Who'd you rather...

I'm chuckling with glee over this one. It's almost as good as 'Karl Rove or Dick Cheney'.