Free Image Consulting

Bonjour Tout Le Monde!
I am offering image consulting services for free!!! I specialize in a unique, counter-image niche that focuses more on what NOT to do. I've drawn upon my neighbors for expertise in the following areas:

1). How to NOT raise your son to be the geekiest, nerd boy in the neighborhood.
2). How to NOT marry the laziest, most financially insecure, least motivated member of the male species.
3). How to NOT get an STD
4). How to NOT be a chain-smoker
5). How to NOT be the feature subject on episode of A&E's Horders
6). How to NOT drive down property values with your 'Little Tiajuana' exterior home & garden decorations.
7). How to NOT win friends and NOT influence people.
8). How to NOT get pregnant while unhappily married.
8). How to NOT get pregnant while single.
9). How to NOT get pregnant while in high school.
10). How to NOT fill out a Match.com profile that attracts drug addicts, truckers, felons and married men.

This is just a brief preview of the vast services I will offer.

Ciao for now!

Cake Baker

STD's on tap

Newly divorced Neighbor #1 is vigorously exercising her sex-tastic freedom by inviting men over for late night boo-tay calls. Not that she's bragging about this, mind you, her neighbors (namely Sasha) can hear the nocturnal rumblings. Still-married, long ago separated, but too lazy to complete divorce paperwork, Neighbor #2 opened her all-night revolving door a few months ago. Thanks to Match.com, her perpetual ;men hunt' has been exceedingly fruitful. Not quite as (barely) discreet as Neighbor #1, Neighbor#2 parades her men throughout the common areas and bombards anyone within her view with comments such as, "He has a boner but he doesn't want you to see it", or, "He has been here less than 20 minutes and we've already had sex."

The one mantra stuck in mind is USE A CONDOM!