Free Image Consulting

Bonjour Tout Le Monde!
I am offering image consulting services for free!!! I specialize in a unique, counter-image niche that focuses more on what NOT to do. I've drawn upon my neighbors for expertise in the following areas:

1). How to NOT raise your son to be the geekiest, nerd boy in the neighborhood.
2). How to NOT marry the laziest, most financially insecure, least motivated member of the male species.
3). How to NOT get an STD
4). How to NOT be a chain-smoker
5). How to NOT be the feature subject on episode of A&E's Horders
6). How to NOT drive down property values with your 'Little Tiajuana' exterior home & garden decorations.
7). How to NOT win friends and NOT influence people.
8). How to NOT get pregnant while unhappily married.
8). How to NOT get pregnant while single.
9). How to NOT get pregnant while in high school.
10). How to NOT fill out a Match.com profile that attracts drug addicts, truckers, felons and married men.

This is just a brief preview of the vast services I will offer.

Ciao for now!

Cake Baker